How to cure your aversion to shopping

So many women I speak to tell me that they hate shopping with a passion.

Delving deeper into this statement often uncovers the fact that the problem is actually more about not really knowing what suits them or will work with what they already own – they rush around, unsure what to buy and end up feeling overwhelmed and confused.

There are some simple principles that can cure this problem:

• Understanding your signature style (your personal brand)
• Having a good knowledge of your body shape, and your most flattering colours, cuts of clothing and fabrics
• Having a list of gaps you need to fill in your wardrobe before you venture out

Here’s a classic example of scenario that could find you preparing to reach for the credit cards:

You get an invitation to a family wedding or an important business event (post Covid of course).  Your immediate reaction is – ‘I have nothing to wear – I’ll have to go shopping’, closely followed by a rising sense of panic.  STOP RIGHT THERE!

Before you consider heading out to the high street or trawling the web for the perfect outfit, check your wardrobe first – you may already own a suitable outfit, or something that just needs a new accessory or a little tweek.  Many women have bulging wardrobes, often full of unloved clothes, so it can be easy to forget what could be a real gem, tucked at the back.

It may not be an important event that takes you out to the high street or trawling the web – maybe you need to replace some well-worn favourites that are now only good for gardening, but worry that you’ll never find a like-for-like replacement and have no idea what would be a good alternative.

Having your own unique signature style, as well as understanding the colours and styles that work for you, helps you build a wardrobe that will always yield great outfits for any occasion, and it will also help you to have a more positive shopping experience – you’ll know what you’re looking for and how it will fit in and enhance your wardrobe.

Here’s what a client (who had confessed to hating shopping) had to say about shopping with me once we had discovered her personal style, colour palette and body shape:

“It was quite exciting to go shopping with you, and see how you do it, so now I feel confident that I can do it myself”.

Since then she has proudly sent me emails about her shopping successes – she has a completely different attitude and has lost that fear, because she knows what works for her.

Your signature style

Your style changes over time, depending on your lifestyle, experiences, profession and much more – it is continually evolving. 

You will have certain styles that you are naturally drawn to, but you may not even realise it.  Perhaps you always gravitate towards pretty prints, spots and stripes or bold colours.  Take a look in your wardrobe and pick out 2-3 items that you absolutely love to wear – do you see similarities in these items?  What words would you use to describe them?

You can take this further by putting together a Pinterest board of ideas, go old school and cut out images from magazines and catalogues and put together a mood board, or perhaps you like to journal about these things.  Find a way that works for you and have fun with it. 

If you’d like more help with this, I offer a Style Personality Profiling service, with lots of tools to guide you.

Having a good knowledge of the colours and styles that flatter you

Wearing colours that flatter you and harmonise with your natural colouring makes your eyes sparkle and your skin brighter, taking away any dark shadows from under your eyes or chin.  Having a palette of shades to work with helps you bring together a wardrobe of clothes that work together, as well as taking away the uncertainty of what to choose when you shop.  You can walk in, scan the store for flattering colours and then check whether those particular items are a good cut and style for you.  No more aimlessly searching through every rail.

So many women I speak to have no idea what their body shape is, especially during and after the menopause, when your shape can change.  You may not be very happy with the way you look and perhaps avoid looking in a full-length mirror, so you have no idea how you really look and therefore how to dress your body.

Hiding under voluminous clothing does nothing for your self-esteem and will only make you look larger than you actually are, as will trying to squeeze into something that is 1 or 2 sizes too small, because you are determined not to buy anything in a larger size.  By accepting and acknowledging your good and not so good features, as well as understanding your proportions and body scale, you can transform the way you look and feel about yourself. 

Shopping to fill the gaps in your wardrobe

By spending some time sorting out your wardrobe and removing anything you don’t wear, you will end up with a wardrobe of clothes that you love and wear regularly.  You can then see where there might be gaps you need to fill, for example: a jacket that will dress up any outfit, a few neutral or colourful camis - great for layering or pulling an outfit together or perhaps a classic trench coat.  Make a list of items that you need to fill the gaps, and keep it in your bag, ready for your next shopping trip.

Keeping in mind these principles when shopping gives you a focus and avoids that aimless mooching that can leave you feeling drained and overwhelmed.

If you need some professional advice, I’d be very happy to help.  Why not book a FREE discovery call so we can put together a plan of action for you?  I look forward to speaking to you very soon.